I just don’t understand …

Originally posted:  October 15, 2012

Tonight while my wife was at a women’s event at church, and the kids were in bed, I decided to open the bible instead of flipping on the TV. See, I would say that over the past month, I’ve been in a spiritual “slump”. Not that my belief in God changed, actually that was more obvious to me than before, as He has done several miracles over the past month. I have just been in the mindset of “God I know you exist, I know you sent your son to die for my sins, and I know you love me, but I DONT understand how and why my son had to die

So after reading a few random passages in the bible, I prayed and then stumbled across the following YouTube video by Francis Chan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=qnrJVTSYLr8

As I watched this 9-minute video, something he said really struck me. He said “Do you ever even consider the possibility that maybe the Creator’s sense of justice is more developed than yours? And that maybe His Love and His Mercy are perfect, and that maybe you could be the one that is flawed

So often we say “Well God wouldnt do this would he?”  or “I dont want to serve a God who would let this happen“. Do you realize that when you do that you are putting God’s actions in submission to your thinking or reasoning.

He talks about when you look at the Bible, there are some things in the Bible that God does that we would never think to do. I mean look at Job, and ultimately, look at Jesus. We would never think of God sending his perfect son to die for the sins of the creation.  His ways are higher than ours. That is why He is the creator and we are the “clay”.  I dont always understand God’s ways and He never promises that I will always agree, but He does promise that He will always be there for us.

I dont understand why Carter died, I just dont understand it. I could stand here and yell and shake my fist at God and blame Him for not stepping in on my behalf, or I can choose to let God work through this situation in ways that I would never think of. We have already seen some of those “blessings in disguise”. We had a memorial service for Carter a few days after we lost him, and I had several people come up to me saying they had experienced the same thing. So maybe one of the many reasons for Carter’s short life was so that we can be a comfort to those who are also grieving. I hope and pray that there are many more blessings that come from this, but at the end of the day, I need to remember that God is all-knowing and I am not, and that I just need to put my trust in Him to help heal our hearts.  I need to humble myself, and let God be God.


Thanks for listening…


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